Core Idea: Feedback is perhaps the most important process that we have for improving performance – our own, and that of our team members. Skills in giving and receiving feedback are indispensable for every manager, leader, educator and parent.
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How do scientists at ISRO or NASA put a satellite in its correct orbit and orient it with such precision? How does a missile intercept moving targets in mid-air? These feats of high performance become possible through a system of sophisticated feedback control.
Why do some organisms survive and thrive, while others perish and become extinct? Again we see that feedback systems are in operation in nature. Some organisms receive feedback from the environment and develop the needed abilities to adapt. They survive. Others do not take feedback or are too slow to react to the environmental changes. They perish.
We see companies which are in constant touch with the market and their customers. They adpat quickly to changes in the economic, political, legal, social and demographic environment. They track changing customer preferences. They are in constant dialogue internally and externally to give and receive feedback. Such organizations thrive.
Some companies cut themselves off from the environment. They sink in their own brew.
The same is the case with teams as well. Teams (as well as departments in organizations) which are constantly in touch with other teams and operate as part of feedback loops perform much better than others which are too internally focused. Many teams comprising of bright individuals, who also work in harmony with each other, fail because they lack the constant dialogue with those outside the team – their customers and other stakeholders. (This is an idea expressed very forcefully in a book that I am currently reading – “X-teams: How to Build Teams That Lead, Innovate and Succeed Teams” by Deborah Ancona and Henrik Bresman.)
What about individuals? How important is feedback for their performance and personal development? No doubt, we agree that it is absolutely important. Without feedback, individuals stagnate.
Recall the basic concepts that we might have learnt through the famous Johari Window. There are a few things about us, which we know and others know. Then there are a few things that we know about ourselves, but others do not know. We were too shy to share them with others, out of a sense of modesty or shame. If these are things that others should know, we better tell them. There are also a few things that others know about us, but we may not be aware of. They might never have told us, and we never bothered to ask if they had something to tell us. This quadrant offers high potential for personal growth and development. By being willing to seek feedback and listen without defence, we get valuable insights about ourselves - both our strenghts and areas for improvement.
There are also aspects of our personality that are still unknown to us as well as others. They remain in the mystery of the unconscious. I am not going to deal with this quadrant right now. I may just hint that we get to know our unconscious by a variety of means such as paying attention to our dreams, observing our mood swings, taking note of something that we say or do without much thought and by observing other people’s reaction to our words and body language.
Coming back to the subject of feedback it would be useful to keep in mind a few guidelines for giving and receiving feedback. The following guidelines would help us to give feedback more effectively:
- Describe your observations, rather than pass judgements about intentions or motivations behind the behaviour.
- Point out specific instances of behaviour, rather than generalize across different behaviours. By being specific about your observation, you ensure that subjectivity is minimized in the feedback process. You also do not leave too many things to the imagination of the receiver. Giving generalized feedback may be easier for you, but it leaves the receiver wondering what it is that he or she has to correct.
- Separate feedback from advice and suggestions.
- Give feedback only if you are genuinely interested in a behavioural change in the receiver of the feedback. This may be because you love the person (as in a family relationship) or you expect improvements in product or service quality (as in a customer-supplier relationship). Whatever the case may be, avoid giving feedback only to show how powerful you are, or how much better off you are than the other person. Feedback should never be an ego trip.
- Refrain from giving feedback if there is hardly anything that the receiver can do about it.
- Ensure that you build trust and convey respect by expressing gratitude and giving feedback about things that you appreciate. Do not limit the power of feedback by using it only for correction of undesirable behaviour.
- Word negatives as areas for improvement. But do not camouflage it as positives and leave the receiver confused.
- Give feedback at the earliest appropriate occasion.
- Chek to ensure that the receiver of the feedback has clearly understood what you wanted to convey.
Receiving feedback is harder than giving feedback. But there is nothing that is as useful as honest feedback when it comes to your own personal development. We must count ourselves as lucky if we are in the company of people who give us feedback on a regular basis. If we are not that lucky, we must take the initiative to ask for feedback. We can ask for feedback from different people – our family members, friends, colleagues, customers, suppliers, teachers etc. Taking feedback and acting on them is one of the most effective ways of improving our performance and developing our capabilities to higher levels.
The following guidelines would be useful in receiving feedback:
- Withhold judgement, until you have got all that the person giving feedback wants to tell you. If the feedback comes to you in a conversation, ensure that you apply all the skills of being a good listener. Be willing to listen, and also demonstrate your willingness through appropriate body language. If the communication is in writing, read carefully, looking not only for the factual content, but also the emotions behind what is expressed in writing.
- Ask questions for clarification without becoming defensive. Ask for additional data if required; but do so politely.
- There is hardly any point in telling the giver of feedback how wrong he or she is. If you honestly feel that you are right, and that the person giving the feedback has misunderstood you, of course you need to make it clear to him or her. But wait until you have listened to the whole story. Then take a few minutes to compose yourself. Respond without aggression or excessive modesty.
- Do not brood over negative feedback. Take it and process it rationally, segregating the more important points from the less important ones. This type of a ‘thinking approach’ helps you to retain perspective and prevents over-correction.
- Do not belittle yourself by recounting the negative feedback given by others. It is for you to act on, not for public confession.
- Develop some understanding about various psychological defence mechanisms that come in the way of receiving feedback. These are behaviours such as aggression, withdrawal, denial, displacement, rationalization, suppression, sublimation, projection etc. We need not be professional psychologists, but we all need to constantly work on increasing our self awareness. We must identify our recurrent patterns of defence. This will help us to get out from our own unhealthy behavioural traps.
- Develop a network of development partners (trusted friends and family members), who are interested in your welfare. Ask them for their honest feedback. When you receive feedback, which you are not sure about, verify with your trusted partner.
Feedback is a communication process, and so it can suffer from all the common problems in communication. Constantly work on improving your communication skill to be effective in giving and receiving feedback.
Excellent tips